His Cross To Bear

He kicked the misfortunes from their notes
with the sun over head 
dreams of a blue sky band 
wasting time and words
on a liquor friendship.
Hippies married to alcohol
drinking music on a sober stage
waiting for this to pass
written communication
enlightened religion
anchored by a piano.
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Ten things about me (okay, eleven)

IMG_44791) I love music.  I love listening to all kinds of music and dancing to most.  This first thing I know about myself helps me resolve all the other things I know about myself.  I always feel better when I listen to music and definitely if it’s the type that makes me dance.

2) I am a terrible housekeeper.  I’ve come to grips with it recently.  Instead of beating myself up for it, I relish in all the time I haven’t wasted doing monotonous, meaningless, thankless chores required to keep a tidy house.  Instead of letting the chaos stress me, I am grateful when the day comes that it IS cleaned up (every two weeks when the housekeeper comes.)

3) I am eternally disorganized.  This relates back to #2.  Things don’t get tidied up and put away like I imagine they do in some other households.  Every other Tuesday the housekeeper comes.  I spend the entire morning putting stuff away on the first floor just so she can dust, mop, wipe, and vacuum the first floor when she arrives mid-day.  Then, I retreat upstairs to do the same for the rest of the afternoon until she makes her way to the second floor.  The whole day every other Tuesday is devoted to cleaning up.  I could keep doing it that way or I could tidy up every day.  Either way, it’s six in one, half dozen in the other.

4) I am nearly always 5 minutes late everywhere I go.  IMG_1781This goes back to #3.  I’m always searching for something in a sea of papers that I’m supposed to bring with me or a shirt to be returned after my appointment (that I am already late for) and I can’t find the shirt or the receipt.  Or, I attempt a quick tidy up in order to combat #2 or #3 quick so that when I come home later, I’m not faced with the utterly discouraging mess.

IMG_53515) I dream of living in an Airstream.  With a great sound system.  I won’t have to keep house (whoever heard of trailerkeeping?), be organized, or on-time.

6) I love the places where the land meets the sea.  These are mostly the places I will go to in my Airstream.

7) I am vigilant about the truth.  Music speaks the truth to me.  I will search in all the places where the land meets the sea in my Airstream for the truth, even if I’m late.  Even if the truth is messy.

8) I despise the word hate.  “All you need is love, love.  Love is all you need.” – John Lennon. There is no need for hate.  Ever.  “Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that.  Hate cannot drive out hate.  Only love can do that.”  – Martin Luther King Jr.

8a) Can I add another thing about myself?  I love quotes.  Quotes help us define our truths, drive out hatred, embrace acceptance and love unconditionally.

9) I love hugs.  Deep, heartfelt, loving, silent hugs. The kind that conveys all the words we use to try to describe love, which is indescribable and invisible.  I love hugs that make you feel the words “I love you” echoed in a whisper in the bottom of your soul.  Words that are of another world, residing in the silence of the embrace.

10) I love silence.  Even in music.  Claude Debussy once said, “music exists in the space between the notes.”  That’s where I like to live.  In the space between the notes, where music lives in silence, in dance, in chaos, in disorganization, or even in a beat that may arrive late and find it’s way to the back of the room in silence.